


"Shooting Chandeliers" [The Joker - One shot]

by A_Wolf



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars, Batman (Comics), DC Cinematic Universe, Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom, jared leto - Fandom
Genre: A.Wölf, F/M, Tumblr: theartofimagining13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-29 23:35:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6398824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Wolf/pseuds/A_Wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on: Imagine: The Joker stealing a car and picking you up to go crash Bruce Wayne’s dinner party and create chaos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Shooting Chandeliers" [The Joker - One shot]

 

 

 **Originally posted at** : [The Art of Imagining](http://theartofimagining13.tumblr.com/).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

* * *

 

It’s Saturday night on Gotham.

The empty street’s silence is destroyed by an engine, a tire screech and a loud guitar riff coming through the car speakers.

 _“You gotta fight for your right to party.”_ -A female and a male voice sing in unison at the top of their lungs.

The car ignores the red traffic light and causes the vehicle on the opposite side to crash into a fire hydrant; water starts spurting out of it.

Harley Quinn sticks her head out the car window to look at the mess as they drive off.

- _Whoa!_ –She exclaims in awe.

The Joker looks at her and smiles with his hand on the gear shift and then hitting the gas full throttle.

* * *

The car pulls over at a tall building.

The Joker walks around the vehicle wearing a white suit with details in black, he opens the door for Harley. She takes his hand and steps out in a long strapless black dress with thigh high slit and a red bow on the back.

 _-You’re hideous… and sexy._ –He says.

With a wicked smile on her red lips she grabs his arm and they enter the building.

* * *

An elegant dinner party is taking place on the top floor.

Bruce Wayne walks around the room in a dark suit and bow tie greeting a few guests.

Waiters wander holding trays with food and glasses of champagne.

A string quartet plays a soft melody at the far end.

The elevator doors open; Harley and The Joker enter the party.

Harley grabs a glass of champagne as soon as she walks in and the Joker busies himself with the cheese appetizers.

The Joker struts towards the string quartet, snatches the violin away from its player and hits him in the head with it making him land on the floor.

The guests gasp and murmur before the room falls silent.

Bruce looks at Alfred who’s standing next to him.

The Joker smooths his green hair with one hand and looks at the crowd shrugging.

 _-Good evening, ladies and gentlemen_. –He exclaims but then lowers his voice to address the musicians. – _Can the 4 of you play something a little more… festive? I mean 3… the 3 of you. My bad._ –He says looking at the unconscious man lying on the floor.

 _-Who is this clown, sir?_ –Alfred asks in a whisper. - _Is he…_

 _-Yes he is._ –Bruce answers before scurrying out the room.

The Joker stands in the middle of the room. Everyone seems to be paralyzed, just watching the man with widened eyes.

 _-Now…_ -He takes out a folded garbage bag from his pocket and shaking it open. – _You’re all going to put your wallets and jewelry in this bag. My assistant will take care of it. Harley?_

During The Joker’s introduction speech, Harley mingled among the crowd and sat behind an old couple.

 _-Harley!_ –The Joker yells.

Quinn leans closer to the couple.

- _Boo!_ –She screams startling the old woman who lets out a scream.

Harley stands up, all eyes on her.

 _-Hi!_ –She waves at everyone with a grin.

All the guests start running around and screaming.

Harley pulls out her pistol from the thigh gun holster underneath her dress and points at the ceiling; she pulls the trigger and the bullet hits one of the chandeliers, making it land on the floor with a loud glass-breaking noise.

Everyone in the room’s frozen in place.

 _-As I was saying… You give us what we want and we won’t kill you._ –The Joker says with a chaotic smile on his face.

Harley grabs the bag and starts walking around the room. The partygoers do as they’re told, dropping their wallets and jewelry in it.

 _-Look at all the pretties!_ –Harley exclaims with a few necklaces hanging from her neck and trying on a couple rings.

Suddenly, the Joker’s tackled to the ground by a dark shadow.

 _-Puddin’!_ –Harley screams.

- _About time! –_ The Joker exclaims looking up at Batman who’s straddling him on the floor.

- _What are you doing here?_ –Batman asks in his gruff voice.

- _What took you so long, Batsy?_

 _-Were you taking a nap upside down in your cave? –_ Harley says _._

 _-Harley! I’m the one who delivers the punchlines here._ –The Joker snarls.

Batman grabs him by the collar of his coat and slams him back to the floor.

The Joker grunts.

 _-Ooo!-_ He exclaims right before laughing with his eyes closed. When the laughter dies down he speaks again.

_-You know, this suit was very… hard to steal._

_-I’m taking you back to Arkham._

_-No, no, no._ –The joker says wagging his index finger at him. _–This is much more fun. Besides we’re celebrating, you see? It’s Harley’s birthday and she’s hard to please… I stole a car for her but she didn’t want that. You know what she asked for?_

 _-What?_ –The Dark Knight asks gritting his teeth.

 _-I asked for the bat itself._ –Harley says overpronouncing each word.

The hero looks up at her in time to see her shoot through his shoulder.

The Joker takes advantage of it to punch him in the face; he falls down and it’s the villain’s turn to straddle him.

The guests start scurrying out of the room.

 _-Aren’t you the greatest, pumpkin pie._ –The Joker says looking over his shoulder, smirking at Harley.

She beams at him.

 _-When are you gonna stop this nonsense, you winged rodent?_ –The Joker asks using an exhausted yet casual tone. All while digging his finger in the Batman’s wound; he gasps in pain. – _Fighting for justice. What for?_ -He changes his tone. Words come out gutturally.- _To make them like you? Wake up, B-Man! To them, you’re just a freak like me who’s only doing their job. No wonder you wear a mask, agent of righteousness. That’s what you aim for? Look at me. I’m an agent of chaos_.

The Joker shows an evil grin that reaches his eyes.

 _-What’s your point? You’re garbage who kills for money._ –Batman breathes out.

- _My point? I just… do things. And for the record I’m broke. Maybe, you should do something about Gotham’s econ- The_ Joker’s speech is interrupted when Batman punches him in the jaw.

The Joker pulls out his knife and both men struggle with each other.

Harley looks around, trying to devise a plan. She glances at Batman who’s rolled on top of the joker and then looks up at the ceiling.

She points her gun at the only chandelier left hanging above him and shoots.

Half the canopy detaches from the ceiling giving the Batman enough seconds to look up and launch himself forward to avoid the impact. The Joker’s eyes widen when he sees the big object falling down; he covers his head with his arms.

Harley’s heartbeat falters when the loud noise echoes in the room.

 _-Jack!_ –She screams.

Guests keep running out.

Batman stares at the mess before him.

Harley’s eyes wander around she runs after an old man.

 _-Batman!_ –She yells with a shaky voice. _–Lift the chandelier. Now!_ –She demands standing behind the man with an arm around his neck and holding her pistol pressed against his temple. – _Help the Joker if you love your civilians so much._

- _No!_ –He screams as soon as he recognizes the hostage. Alfred. _-Leave him alone_.

Harley cocks the gun. Alfred shuts his eyes expecting the worst.

The superhero approaches the chandelier and does as he’s told.

The Joker doesn’t move for mere seconds but opens his eyes.

Batman gets closer to him.

- _Don’t touch him! Don’t move! –_ Harley yells.

 _-Wh… what? You’re gonna end me?_ –The Joker slurs. – _It’s her birthday, let her kill me._

_-She already did._

_-Mistah J!_ –Harley yells.

Tears start forming in her eyes.

The Joker reaches for his knife.

_-Kill me romantically, Harl._

_-Puddin’, I … I’m so sorry._ –She starts repeating herself; eyes wide open with fear as she loses her last bit of sanity.

Batman approaches her slowly, trying not to distract her from the pain but she rushes to her lover’s side, liberating the hostage.

 _-Do it, Harl._ –The Joker whispers handing her the knife as soon as she kneels beside him.

She takes the knife and stares at it.

 _-I can’t._ –She cries.

_-If you don’t do it… he will._

She cradles his upper body in her arms.

Alfred and Batman watch from a short distance.

Harley stabs her lover in the stomach and breaks down crying as soon as he exhales for the last time and his body goes limp.

She holds onto him with mascara tears streaming down her face but the crying ceases all of a sudden and she stands up.

She slowly turns around to face batman.

- _This is all your fault._ –She says dryly.

She points her gun at him, he pushes Alfred out of the way and crouches in time to dodge Harley’s bullet but she takes advantage of this and shoots the big window on her right. She pulls Alfred up by the arm and pushes him out the window ignoring his pleads.

Batman jumps after him to try to save him.

* * *

She kneels next to the Joker and runs her fingers through his hair.

 _-I’m impressed by your acting skills, Harley._ –He says with a sigh. – _Are you enjoying yourself?_

He puts his hands behind his head and opens his eyes to look at her.

Harley bites her lower lip and nods with a smile.

 _-I shot Batsy._ –She says giggling.

_-That was my favorite part. Happy birthday, Harley._

_-Oh, Mistah J. This was the best present ever._ –She exclaims before pressing her lips against his.

He rolls his eyes.

_But how was he Alive?_

* * *

_15 minutes earlier._

Harley points her gun at the chandelier hanging above Batman and shoots.

Half the canopy detaches from the ceiling giving him enough seconds to look up and launch himself forward to avoid the impact. The Joker’s eyes widen when he sees the big object falling down; he covers his head with his arms.

He curls up into a fetal position a second before it hits the floor.

The finial breaks through the ground right next to his stomach, and the chandelier’s arms are suspended above him, giving him enough space to roll onto his back again; creating an illusion and making it look like he was crushed by it.

When Harley stabbed him, she used his retractable fake knife.

* * *

Harley takes the Joker’s hand and helps him up.

They exit the building and get in the car.

_-Can I drive, puddin’?_

_-It’s your car._ –He says throwing the keys in the air for her to catch.

She lets the engine roar to life.

A man is about to cross the street.

Harley and the Joker share a look.

She accelerates. The man glances at the car like a deer in the headlights.

Before he can scream or try to run, Harley runs him over. His body rolls over the hood and falls on the pavement.

The demented couple let out their best evil laugh. The Joker lets the loud music fill the car through the speakers once again.

The Joker loved getting on Batman’s nerves and Harley’s birthday celebration had been coldly calculated.

They start singing loud again as they drive off.

_“You gotta fight for your right to party”._


End file.
